How to prevent a divorce after the birth of a child

The birth of a child in the family is the most important event, because of which the way of life of spouses changes, their habits. Even if the baby was welcome, unfortunately, many young couples do not stand this test. The statistics show that most divorces occur at the time when the first children appear. Why is this happening and how to help the family overcome this difficult period? About this and talk.

Why do couples decide to part

Why a young couple most often decides to dissolve the relationship precisely at the time when their firstborn is born? There are many reasons.
  1. This is a difficult period for spouses, when they experience new emotions, learn to be parents.
  2. There may be problems with relatives who suddenly start to teach life, to say that you are doing everything wrong.
  3. Young suddenly discover that they have different approaches to education. Perhaps someone in a couple is too strict, someone on the contrary, is too soft, someone prefers to follow only the advice of a doctor, while another spouse would like to use non-traditional medicine, etc.
  4. Sexual problems. A woman needs to recover from childbirth, so for some time she has to give up intimacy, and her desires are rare, as fatigue accumulates, there is not enough time. A man often does not aspire to intimacy either. his wife is not as good as before: she is stout, does not have time to watch herself, is often irritated, etc.
  5. Financial issue. If the spouses have prepared themselves before the birth of the baby and have accumulated a certain amount, there should not be any problems. But not everyone thinks about it, and expenses increase, as the child needs to buy diapers, clothes, a stroller, mixes, etc. Due to lack of money, scandals and misunderstandings are possible.
Of course, this is not a complete list of problems, because of which divorce becomes inevitable, in each family they are their own, but we listed the main ones.

How to solve these problems

What to do, is there a chance to save the family? Of course, there is. Remember that your family is going through a difficult period, you just have to endure it. Over time, everything will be fine. Thousands of families went through a similar test, but were able to preserve love. If you do not agree with your spouse, discuss this problem, talk about it, try to bring your reasonable arguments, and if necessary, give in. We must seek compromises. Even if it concerns a financial issue, everything can be discussed calmly, without scandals. You can save money on something, plan your budget in advance, for example, you can buy not the most expensive diapers or take many clothes of the same type, from which the baby will quickly grow.

When your mother-in-law or mother-in-law interferes in your life, try not to take everything "hostile", they are older, they have experience, their advice can be listened to. Do not waste time arguing, especially on scandals. Perhaps the recommendations of a more adult person will save you from mistakes. But if you categorically disagree with them and are sure of your rightness, just do what you think is right, but take advice into consideration.

Advice to women on the preservation of marriage

Often it is women who become the keepers of the home, they help preserve the peace in the family, can make the house cozy, so that the husband would like to go home, and not delay this moment, overloading himself with work. These few tips will help her act wisely and save her marriage:
  1. The husband can not guess that you need help. Women are sure that a man sees how hard it is for her to accumulate a lot of work, even if she does not talk about it. But this is not so. Do not be angry and offended by your spouse, he does not know how to read your thoughts, it is better to approach him and say how he can help you.
  2. Do not become a victim. Sometimes you really want to feel like a victim. You are exhausted, very tired and show it to your husband, and get your portion of praise, help and understanding. But, if a couple is a victim, the second automatically becomes a tormentor, and this situation does not suit everyone, not every man will be happy to feel like a tyrant. Such relations have one more "side effect": lightness and joy disappear from them, and without this it is difficult to be happy. Therefore, forget about the role of the victim, you yourself decided to have a baby, you yourself took this responsibility. Remember this, and your relationship will improve.
  3. Do not exclude a husband from your family. Often mothers unite themselves and the child, for example, "Sasha and I went for a walk", "we are now eating", whereas the husband is already, as it were, not part of the family, he feels excluded, superfluous, since the wife lives a separate life with her baby . It's no wonder that he himself moves away, for example, playing computer games or going to friends. It is advisable not to forget about her husband, in the evening, concentrate all his attention on him.
  4. Do not live only for the performance of your duties. Every woman tries to be a good wife and mother and from her man, first of all, demands that he be an exemplary husband. But meanwhile, life is much more interesting, it is not domestic chores and work, every person lives his inner life, goes his own way and commits his mistakes. It is important not only how you and your spouse are performing their duties, but also his mood, thoughts, it is important what he has in his heart.
  5. Do not think only of children. The focus of our time has become detocentricity, that is, the whole life of adults revolves around children. Entertainment - only for them, all spending - just for them, etc. Children are very important, with this no one argues, but this does not mean that adults should forget about their needs and interests.
Of course, universal advice does not exist. This period is really a serious test for the couple. But you can survive it if you make a little effort, that is, trying to keep peace in the family, without being offended or in conflict.
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About the author

Шакирова Лилия

I am forty years old. I love books, especially English classics, animals. I bring up a child with my husband, a daughter. I'm sure that everything in this world is ultimately arranged correctly.

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