"As I want it so it will be!" What is the use of selfishness in family relations

Nobody wants to be called an egoist, because it is considered a shameful quality of a person. So can we say that a bad person and an egoist are one and the same? Let's first see why family experts and sexologists argue that in order to strengthen serious relationships, selfishness is useful in small quantities.

Egoism is to live by your own mind, following your own desires.

But did you know that an egoist is actually a person who wants other people to do what he wants, but he still cares not only about himself, but also about others, and also takes into account the opinion surrounding In addition, he himself does not do so as to indicate to him others, following only his desires and goals. And yet from what independent decisions and the willingness to bear responsibility for them, then such people in the modern world are called egoists?

In fact, everything is explained simply. As everyone has long known that people are social creatures who live by the rules of the society where they were born and live. Thus, the child still cannot decide for himself how to distribute his life energy and where to direct it, and therefore he has no choice but to rely on the experience and advice of other people (in particular, parents and teachers). But we are constantly telling the child that it is necessary to do as adults say, because they are experienced and know better how to act, etc.

When a child grows up and can independently make a decision how and what to do, which is different from the choice of actions of a more adult environment, then from that moment they start talking about the person that he is an egoist.

According to scientists, every person possesses egocentrism, but some of them are too pronounced, while others do not. And those who represent the golden mean are characterized by the ability to be responsible for their own actions and live by their own rules, and not by those imposed on them by their relatives.

Parents tell their children to listen to the advice and opinions of elders and follow them, despite the fact that the child himself wants. Since childhood, we are taught to take an example from others and to imitate them, but it is from this very moment that many lose the ability to answer for their actions and decisions.

Thus, healthy egoism is the ability to decide for yourself and choose the best for yourself, despite all the discontent and outrage of loved ones and relatives. Otherwise, having completely trusted the decision of other people and when you do not succeed, there is a great chance that you blame the failures of those who advised you to choose this path. After all, which side do not look every man knows that it will be better for him.

Ways of expressing egocentrism in the relationship between a guy and a girl

There are no questions and a simple explanation of selfishness, manifested in relationships with other people, trying to control your life a little. Much more questions arise about the appropriateness of selfishness in the relationship between lovers. And the logical question is: Is it possible to show selfishness in relation to a loved one?

The whole point is that selfishness by its nature, in its interpretation as self-love, does not exclude feelings of love for another, because, as it has been noted before, feelings of self-love are an expression of desires to act on one’s own discretion, and not at all focusing on oneself. In addition, the manifestation of selfishness in a romantic relationship gives you a wide range of actions that you have the right to perform.

So thanks to selfishness, you have your own different opinion from your partner in solving everyday problems, and are unshakable in your position during disputes, and are also able to make a decision, regardless of the opinions of your partner. A vivid example of such egoism is such a situation when your loved one invites you to go with him to a corporate evening, where he will be congratulated on getting a new position, and you suffer from a headache.

There are two possible solutions: first, where you go to a party, so as not to offend your lover, and the second option, you stay at home, because you care for your health. Moreover, two such options are the same in their significance and can equally happen in reality, and only you can decide which option to choose, whether you will go to a festive evening, feeling unwell, or wait for your beloved home, having met him in a great mood. how they decided in favor of their health.

Selfishness gives mutual pleasure in bed

According to Freud, who argued that sex is one of the basic human needs, cognizable by means of a sense of his own ego. Sexual need is an expression of selfishness in its natural form, and therefore, whenever you make love, you go on about your own selfishness, through which your desires are transformed into actions.

In fact, a moderate sense of selfishness in sexuality not only causes the presence of sex in a relationship, but allows you to embody all erotic desires and make love, enjoying the two of you. Agree that nowadays sex, in which a woman just gives pleasure to a man, while performing only his erotic fantasies, is considered a relic of antiquity and the Middle Ages, since at that time men did not particularly care about the embodiment of sexual desires of their partner.

In the modern world, both man and woman are equal participants in bed comfort. To fight for your rights, and in particular for the right to fulfill sexual desires, this is an indicator of selfishness. But there is nothing bad in it, because abandoning your desires, to get full pleasure in sex, only a partner is considered unnecessary altruism and lack of self-love, not bringing happiness into further relationships of lovers.

The presence of selfishness in the relationship between a boy and a girl is considered the norm, if at the same time, when defending your opinion or decision, you still agree to compromises so that your partner does not feel deprived.
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Елена П

Hello! The circle of my interests is great, and I hope that the information offered by me will be useful and interesting for the reader. I am always open to discussions, including for criticism, I will gladly answer your questions))

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