Fears that prevent you from becoming successful

Let's be honest with ourselves and with each other. None of us dreamed of as a child: "I'm growing up, I'm going to a stuffy office, I'll get an average salary in the region, I rarely see my own family ..."

We wanted to become successful. Specific desires depended on individual characteristics, but still were quite bold.

Where did the fears that prevented us from fulfilling children's dreams come with age? And what are they?

Fear of loneliness

It is worth saying "thanks" to the average environment, which says that only dishonest people or those born with a golden spoon in their mouth can become successful. In families where the ancestors encountered dekulakization, they may frighten you that if you get rich, everyone will be taken away or even killed.

In school, you could face another difficulty: if you had all your point of view, you irritated the teacher and, from his presentation, classmates. For example, if you really understood the essence of the work, and did not write off the finished essay from the Internet. Perhaps you interfered with all your clarifying questions, trying to better understand the essence of objects. This desire often becomes an invisible barrier between children who have not lost the desire to become more capable, and all the others, just wishing to sit out from a call to a call. And gradually strengthens in the thought of "not sticking out" if you want to have buddies.

Fear of being used

As soon as you start to receive more, out of nowhere there will be "friends" asking large amounts of money (and not giving) for a loan, unemployed distant relatives will remind themselves of them, demanding that they be attached. In general, the fear that there will be a lot of people who need you, is justified. The main thing is to learn how to say to them firmly: "No".

In our culture, even the idea of ​​refusal, especially to relatives, causes horror. But the sooner you learn to cut off those who want to snuggle up comfortably on your neck, the faster you will form an adequate circle of communication. He will help you in development, not pull down.

Thought: "I'm not worthy"

The whole generation, brought up with the idea of ​​equality, continues to share a little perverse logic with their children. It all begins with children's competitions, in which you win in fact, and the "victory of friendship" is proclaimed and the distribution of prizes for all participants begins. Surely you can immediately recall a dozen such examples of injustice in your life.

The sense of duty to ensure that the losers do not feel like losers are repeatedly brought to such an absurdity that you are not sure what you should feel if you win. You should be proud of yourself, but you are already on the machine switch for concern about those left behind.
I know several women who have lost several years of their life on already unnecessary training in the university. They quickly realized that they were mistaken with the choice of specialty, and study only hampered their business. But my parents cried: "It was not worth borrowing someone else's budget place, if I did not intend to study." They graduated, of course. What is the price for the psyche - another question ...
It is important for you to understand: you are always at your well-deserved place and can dispose of it as you please. Imagine what would have happened if the Olympic champion, who received the gold medal, were not rightly rejoicing, but cried with pity for those who did not win prizes? It's funny, right?

Fear of losing everything

Perhaps life itself throws you an incredible number of opportunities, but you refuse them. "Each fall inevitably follows a fall," - whispers to you another negative attitude from the subconscious, which was inspired a long time ago. You do not even make the first step to success, because you are afraid that after a long journey you will stumble, fall, and it will hurt. To confirm these thoughts in order to secure yourself in advance and stay in the usual situation, you will:
  1. Continue to engage in an uninteresting, "stable" business.
  2. Communicate with unpleasant people who broadcast wrong thoughts.
  3. To fall into the situations you seek to avoid.
Do you think this is all a game of evil fate? No, it's just that the world always reflects our ideas about it.

And if so, maybe it's time to begin to believe in your own success?

Actually

If you are on the road to success and wealth, you deserve it. So, you work harder than others, more capable of others, bolder. Yes, it is advantageous to differ from everyone and at the same time stay in the shadows will not work. For a long time you will cause envy, condemnation, hear a lot of gossip. But do not let go of this hand!

Gradually you will form a new circle of communication from the same successful women who once became an example for you, and begin to grow in the career plan even faster. And in the personal too: believe me, people who are used to achieving their goals are radically different from those who are accustomed to the average standard of living and write off all the failures of external factors.
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About the author

Эльвина Примакова

By education - a psychologist, a teacher of psychology. She is married and has a daughter: she is three years old. Daily I consolidate the theory studied in practice :-) I like to share my experience, I will be glad to your questions and comments.

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