Years go by, and time puts everything in its place, taking offense in the past, those who teased for weight - themselves with difficulty enter the doorway, and the girl that was teased for the name, married a businessman, and now wears the proud name Ogryzko. And then over the childish grievances you can only laugh.
But how to behave if they tease your child? To say a little child, after 10 years everything will pass? Your child is suffering from resentment now, and with this you need to do something.
Why children are calledA child is a reduced copy of an adult. The society of people is accustomed to sticking labels, at home, at work, in the circle of friends, we give people nicknames, sometimes without thinking about it.
Follow your speech, never speak in the style of "that alcoholic from the 3 apartments" or "Sashka Tikhonya" or "that's the werewolf at work." This is all your child can hear, which negatively affects the manner of communicating with their peers.
Children 3-5 years old are usually teased so that they pay attention, there is that boy or that girl: I started calling myself to chase after me. Simply the kid has understood, that insulting words catch, and usual are not present, here and uses such scheme.
Older children use aggressive, accurate teasers to self-assertion, to emphasize that this fat stupid, ugly, etc., and he is good. Here, the main goal is to offend, offend, anger. Most often appealed by offensive words to the guys who do not have enough care and attention from their parents. But in some cases, teasers are a psychological defense of a smarter but less physically developed child who can not give up and stand up for himself by force.
And in the end, children can tease and just so that it was more fun.
Than one can helpIn the collective of children, nicknames and nicknames are given by surname, behavior, appearance. It is very bad when a child makes fun of a physical nuance, this can lead to a psychological trauma of the child being called.
Of course, everywhere you go with your child and protect you from offenders will not work, and the main task of parents is to learn how to properly treat their shortcoming. You can use the example of significant people, for example, in Tamerlane one leg was shorter than the other, and Kutuzov did not have one eye at all, Newton and Einstein were ill with autism, Barbara Streisand and Whoopi Goldberg had a specific and not model appearance; etc. But all this did not become an obstacle to the path to success.
If you started teasing your child, first try not to get involved, let him try to figure it out himself, if it does not work out - work together a line of behavior, if there are no results, you'll have to go talk with the offender.
When a child adapts to a new team, the appeals are almost inevitable, it's like a psychological test. The leader will test the newcomers for strength. If the child does not ask for help from the parents - watch, but try not to interfere. If the child from teasers began to become isolated and feel discomfort, talk with the child, there are several techniques.
First of all, teach the child to ignore the offender, or laugh with him, for example, aha, and my last name is really funny. And you can also answer the tower on the tower, yes, I'm a lop-eared, but you're a real Dumbo elephant!
Teach your child that in response to a teaser you can not tell a teacher or use fists, the problem will not solve it, but will only exacerbate it.
When is time to interveneIf in the collective of the child it is customary to give each other nicknames, there are no grounds for worry. But if only your baby is hurt, it's time to act.
According to the opinion of psychologists, such pressure can disrupt the child's psyche and lead to depression, the child will become insecure, and there will be no desire to join the collective, and if this is a school, then all desire to learn will disappear.
The unfavorable atmosphere in the team of classmates encourages the search for another company, and not always this company will be good. . . Sometimes, in order to rehabilitate oneself before classmates, the child starts to commit bad deeds, for example, stealing money from his mother, buying for all the sweets and handing them out to the children.
Often teasers become a part of mobbing - harassment, when they make of it "the blame for all the scapegoat." In this case, the parent must protect the child, conduct a conversation with the abusers and classmates, teachers, and if it does not help - you need to transfer to another school, kindergarten.
Psychologist's adviceIntervene should be only in the light of circumstances, the first thing you need to do is talk to the teacher, and if she does not solve the problem, talk to the abuser. But all this is done on a friendly note, with those, then speaks in a confidential tone, at the level of the subconscious mind you want to talk and listen.
Transfer to another team and school will not always be able to solve the problem. If the child is a good student, it is better to transfer to a school where children with the same high level of intelligence study.
If the child himself provokes teasers, you just need to teach your child how to behave with peers, or even better - to talk with a psychologist.