Syndrome of deferred life: how to overcome it?

"When I have free time, I will certainly do it," "When I have more money, I will definitely buy it," "When I get appreciated at work, I will begin to enjoy it" - all these excuses are indicators syndrome of deferred life. In itself, such a state is not a psychological deviation. However, it can seriously impair life, for example, causing depression. The earlier it will be possible to recognize the syndrome of the postponed life, the easier it will be to overcome its negative influence.

What is deferred life syndrome?

If you understand, people by nature tend to live expectations. Remember, did not you ever hear: "First you've finished your studies, and then do the nonsense." As an adult, you may have started to set the conditions for yourself: "I'll marry," "I'll have a baby," "I'll settle for a good job," "I'll drop 10 kilograms." All these settings indicate that people live dreams of the future and in fact postpone life for later.

Putting your emotional well-being in dependence on external factors, various events or any acquisitions, you doom yourself to expectation, which, as a rule, brings disappointment. Why? Even if the event, which was supposed to bring you happiness and joy, happens, life after this cardinally does not change. There are new cases, worries, problems. And where is that idyll that you've been dreaming about for so long? The main danger of the deferred life syndrome in uncompromising. A person stakes on one particular event, omitting other possibilities.

Syndrome of deferred life: causes

One could say that the expectation of the best has been imparted to man since childhood. But someone has it expressed in healthy optimism and seething energy, and someone for a long time stuck in their own dreams. One of the causes of the syndrome of deferred life is dissatisfaction. The person unconsciously fences himself off from the present and begins to pin his hopes on the future. How justified they will be depends on whether it will show flexibility to the surrounding realities.

What if the work was prestigious, but unloved? The child could not instill a love of reading, although you dreamed of how you will discuss with him the books read? Getting rid of extra pounds did not increase self-esteem? If you are not susceptible to the delayed life syndrome, then try to find "loopholes" in the circumstances that you have at the moment.

Try to understand yourself and find out what you really want to do. Talk to the child to find a joint hobby that will bring joy to both of you. Reconsider your principles, recognizing the obvious fact - self-confidence does not depend on weight.

Another cause of the syndrome of deferred life may become excessive purposefulness. When a person is strongly focused on achieving a result, he ceases to pay attention to the process preceding this. His life is based on setting goals and achieving them. Rest, communication with loved ones and simple joys are postponed for later. To begin to enjoy life, it will be possible to establish a balance between the process and the result.

What is the danger?

In your mind, you can rehearse the coveted event hundreds of times, but with the deferred life syndrome there are no guarantees that it will ever happen. Very often dreams of happiness remain only dreams, because people do not take any real steps to achieve the goal, hollow, that this is not the time for it. All this ultimately leads to a loss of time, frustration in false priorities and discontent with oneself.

The situation when a person, trying to get rid of problems in the present, dreams of happiness in the future, can be repeated again and again. Only an event that is a condition of happiness will change depending on the circumstances. Syndrome of delayed life can be a cover for self-doubt. Often he points out that he is not ready to leave the comfort zone. In this case, the syndrome serves as an excuse for inaction.

How to get rid of the delayed life syndrome?

You can cope with this state by realizing significant changes in your life. But what sphere should be subjected to global changes? The answer to this question is known only to you. In order to clarify your true goals and priorities, it is worth asking yourself what actions can change life for the better, to bring to that conditional ideal, which it was so pleasant to always dream about.

Also, you should honestly admit to yourself what kind of events can bring joy right now. Among the options in the first place you need to consider those activities for which you do not have to wait for the holidays or the offensive.

Linking all your aspirations with some distant event is a big risk. Imagine for a second that your goal will not come true. Adjust your plans in such a way that they are oriented both to events in the distant future, and short-term achievements. If until now you have been waiting for when the fortune smiles at you, think how much the desired event depends on a combination of circumstances. It is likely that you will find a way to "rush" your luck.

Accept the present with all the difficulties that are in your life. Then, with a greater probability, you will not miss the opportunities that will arise in the future and will be able to fulfill your dreams.
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About the author

Клементина

I love chocolate and books in unlimited quantities. I appreciate communication, a positive attitude and self-development. I try to motivate myself for big and small achievements. Did you have any questions? Feel free to ask))

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