If the black bar begins

Man, no matter how hard he tries, can not be absolutely happy throughout his life. Each has its own periods of ups and downs. Sometimes it seems that everything is fine: you are appreciated and loved at work, mutual understanding reigns in the family, relatives and friends do not forget about you, children please with their successes at school or institute. Then behind the back "grow wings", I want to live and enjoy life.

But there are times of unhappiness: everything is falling from the hands, things are breaking down, quarrels with relatives are beginning on an even place ... Usually in this situation they say: "I started a" black bar ". At all without an exception such happens. It is very important at this time not to give up. And psychologists say that the "black band" is necessary for us, since it helps us to look at our life from a different angle, and, if necessary, change it.

Why do people have "black stripes" in their lives?

Psychologists, sociologists, doctors and other scientists have long been studying the behavior of a person in a crisis situation, his reaction to stress, the consequences that negative emotions can lead to. So, it was found that the "black bar" does not appear just like that. There is always a reason for such changes. We list some of them:
  1. It's time to change your life. It happens that a person lives by inertia and seems to be comfortable with everything: and the work is, albeit unloved, and the husband, although you either quarrel, or immediately scatter to different rooms, and friends, even if they constantly use you and etc. Such a life is like a swamp, without vivid emotions, but a person is not ready to change something. When a series of misfortunes appears, we have to fight them. He seems to wake up, begins to live consciously, set goals for himself and move towards them.
  2. Overwork. The rabid rhythm of life often makes you forget about rest. Thousands of unfinished business, but no more forces. We should rest, but who is ready to refuse another increase or increase to the salary? Then you have to suffer because of feelings of guilt. And the person tries to the last, but the body works a protective mechanism. Therefore, at the most crucial moment, you can forget important documents or lose the right phone number, slip on the way to work and fall into a puddle, suffer from a headache at a meeting, etc.
  3. Guilt. Having learned some details about his life, or having committed an unseemly act, many begin to suffer from a sense of guilt. The person understands by the mind that he could not do otherwise, he finds an excuse. But there remains an unconscious desire to punish oneself. Because of this, the series of problems that a person creates to himself begins.
  4. Victim behavior. This is a behavior when someone behaves in such a way that he gets into dangerous situations. It was found that the most attractive object for attacking criminals is a stooped man with his head down, flaccid, clumsy, with an extinct eye. Professor Betty Grayson and her assistants made several video footage on the street. These were pictures from real life, ordinary passers-by who did not know that they were being photographed. Then they showed this video to the criminals and asked who they would choose as a victim. In different prisons, different people pointed to the same passers-by, the description of which we gave above. Psychologists concluded: helpless, frightened people attract impudent and rapists. It's worth becoming more self-confident, calmer, and you will avoid many problems. Sometimes troubles happen to those who show an elementary negligence: gets into the car to a stranger, walks late at night, loudly tells someone that he has a large amount in his hands. Even a girl's gaze into the eyes of a stranger can be perceived by him as an invitation to a close acquaintance. Think about whether your behavior has changed, whether it has become for some reason victim.
There may be other causes that provoked negative changes in your life. To understand why this happened is sometimes difficult. It is important to understand one thing: the "black bar" has appeared not just so, it is an occasion to reflect, to reconsider your behavior, to change the way of life.

Pros of the "black band"

To cope with the negative, to survive a difficult time, you need in all to look for pros. So, the "black band", even if it seems to us a lost time, is sometimes necessary for a person. It seems that there is nothing good in a series of troubles, but psychologists say the opposite:
  1. A person ceases to look at the world through "rose-colored glasses", becomes more circumspect. Many people, regardless of age and social status, suffer either from excessive self-confidence, or are too naive and trusting. "The Black Strip" puts everything in its place. After it, a person sees a real picture of the world, accepts it, and it is easier for him to adapt.
  2. He begins to appreciate what he has. Now they say a lot about the need to work on themselves, reach some peaks, earn more. It's all good, if not for one "but". Man ceases to feel happy. He comes home and thinks about the fact that it's high time to make repairs, get a salary and scold yourself for being too small, takes out the phone and worries that this is not the last model, etc. If you think all the time that everything you need to improve, there will never be a sense of satisfaction and happiness, but life is fleeting. When a series of misfortunes begins, we can focus on what we have, and rejoice at the fact that everything is not so bad: there is health, there is a roof over your head, you need money for necessary ones, and you need to rejoice, and not wait for that ideal day, when everything will be, as in pictures in glossy magazines.
  3. There is time to rest, to restore strength. Almost any person in this period ceases to act, because he was tired because of the fallen trouble, disappointed in life, he is afraid that again something will go wrong. And it's not so bad, because it helps us for a while to fall out of the daily bustle, gain strength for new victories.
  4. Non-standard solutions to problems. When we become less active and less sociable than before, we begin to observe, analyze, and become attentive to every little thing. We listen to our feelings, even if we used to live only with the mind, that is, we develop our intuition. And intuition rarely fails, it is she who can tell us the right decision. So a person deviates from the usual methods of solving problems that did not work in this situation, and finds new, much more effective than old ones.
As we see, the "black bar" is not always a bad thing. We need it to reconsider our attitude to life. But it can not be denied that this is a difficult period in a person's life. We will talk about how to survive it in the second part of the article.
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About the author

Шакирова Лилия

I am forty years old. I love books, especially English classics, animals. I bring up a child with my husband, a daughter. I'm sure that everything in this world is ultimately arranged correctly.

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