How to learn to respect your husband

It would seem that a natural feeling, based on the ability to recognize the dignity of another person, is absent in many women. Some of them may think that this is not so, but it is enough to see how they are:
  • do not hesitate to criticize her husband in public;
  • aggressively argue with him;
  • complain in a circle of girlfriends about problems in the relationship.
And some ladies say directly that there is nothing to respect the male representatives. Like, let deserve a good attitude to yourself.

And this is what is fraught with ...

Consequences of disrespect for men

It is very important to learn to see in the representatives of the stronger sex worthy people. Any relationship that you will try to wind up before, will turn into a place of fighting with breaks for sleep. And there will be no winners in the battle.
  1. If you have got enough authoritarian man, and you will show your disrespect in every way, deny the importance of his actions, criticize them, the spouse will start to put pressure on you. How exactly inevitable conflicts will develop depends on the degree of your and his obstinacy.
  2. If you marry a weaker man, after some time of disrespectful attitude, he will begin to save himself by going to work, computer games, alcohol. Someone can start to change. For a divorce, the spouse will decide not at once.
  3. Some women take on a maternal role. Controlling your partner, trying to control his behavior, you can think that you are directing him to the "true path". In this case, and certainly will rarely praise her husband, when he will listen: "suddenly conceited and relaxed." Alas, no matured man will not endlessly live with his mother and will go once to a woman who will not look down on him.
The listed options for the development of events will not lead to you to happiness. However, the image of what does not work will not be useful either. Respect must really be learned.
At the heart of family relations should be sincerity.
Some women understand that they do not want to take care of their spouse, but they do it through force, because "it's so necessary". Although they say that men are not telepaths, such compulsory actions, they are perfectly read and irritated. You might think that the spouse breaks down without any reason.

The roots of the problem

The three most common options in which respect for the strong sex are lost.
  1. Growing up in single-parent families, some girls hear about fathers is not the most pleasant. After such education, the formation of mistrust to the whole strong sex is quite understandable. A girl can wholeheartedly want a happy family, but subconsciously she will wait for despicable deeds from all the men with whom she is getting acquainted. And, of course, will find confirmation of their expectations.
  2. Worse than a divorce for a weak child's psyche can only be a parent relationship, full of negativity. Looking at the constant conflicts (or worse - fights), in a cold atmosphere a girl grows up with a subconscious fear of starting a relationship.
  3. Generational scenarios have a strong influence. The problems in the relationship of mother, grandmother, relatives subconsciously affect ourselves. So, if grandfather and dad liked to drink, there is a high probability of choosing a man with the same addiction. And if there were a lot of single mothers in the family, after the birth of your child you can, without knowing it yourself, provoke a spouse to divorce. It is not easy to get rid of the influence of such negative scenarios. First and foremost, it is important to realize them, and then you need to ask yourself new attitudes toward a happy relationship, alone or with a psychologist.
Modern culture, putting forward inflated demands on men, further aggravates the situation. And yet, any negative influence can be avoided. Fortunately, you are no longer a small helpless girl and can work on yourself.

A simple test

Do you know one of the main indicators of respect for a spouse? Accepting with all his heart his decisions instead of looking for evidence of their own fears in them. Here's a simple test.

Imagine: right now the husband offers something incredible. For example, to move to another country the other day. What are your first reactions?

Are you angry that he is an egoist who did not think about you, decided everything himself? Well, you do not respect him.

Inwardly dissatisfied, but they would keep silent and reluctantly agreed to relocate? Never mind. He will feel your attitude.

A woman who respects her husband would take the offer of moving as a manifestation of caring for the welfare of the family. She would have trusted him and knew that he would cope with responsibility for his decision.
Do not understand the position of the spouse? Ask questions. If they are dictated by the desire to genuinely understand the man, and not find weaknesses for which you can criticize, the head of the family will gladly share why he considers his decision useful for the whole family.

Respectful elements

Memo to women who want to be happy in marriage:
  1. Take your husband as he is. Do not try to re-educate. Understand that everyone is not perfect (and you too, by the way). Yes, everyone has shortcomings. But how much your husband's strengths!
  2. Appreciate it. Do not take everything that he does (and in fact a lot?) For granted, but appreciate. Show it through gratitude for his care and help.
  3. Look at the spouse's personality. Understand that he has the right to opinions and desires, different from yours, and is worthy of respect for them, not ridicule and criticism.
  4. Do not complain about your loved one to anyone. Even my girlfriends. Especially - my mother. So you humble yourself, first of all, yourself.
  5. Look at the dignity of a husband for whom he is already worthy of respect, and the hidden potential that you can help him uncover, if you inspire.
  6. Learn to forgive. Instead of remembering long-standing minor grievances, concentrate on all the good that you have.
  7. Do not let anyone criticize your spouse. Even if you do not support the dialogue, but sit silently at the table, while the parents are scolding your loved one for anything, you betray him and humiliate yourself. Find convincing arguments to no longer hear criticism of the spouse.

First steps

Before you start to respect your spouse, you must take three steps.
  1. Start to respect your father. This task is of paramount importance, because it is the attitude towards it that is projected onto all members of the stronger sex. And you deprive yourself of happiness. Even if you have not seen your father once in your life, or he has offended you, or completely deprived you of attention, learn to respect him. Understand correctly: no one calls to begin to call his bad deeds good and suppress all painful memories. It is important to accept the father with all the weaknesses, try to see something good. If this is still difficult, start with gratitude for the life given to you.
  2. Start to respect yourself. Forgive yourself all the imperfections. This does not mean that you need to become indulgent and allow yourself anything. This means - to stop striving to understand the ideal given to someone and accept yourself as such.
  3. Start to respect all men. We can not assume that "all men are goats", and the spouse is special. If there is deep contempt for the representatives of the stronger sex, sooner or later it will affect the one who is around, once he stumbles. Whether it's a neighbor on the porch, a male colleague or a taxi driver - they all deserve respect. And when you understand this and improve relationships with them, your life will begin to change. There will be a worthy man who will be easy for you to respect, and he, in his turn, will treat you with all reciprocity.

Finally

A psychologically mature woman perceives a man as an equal partner and treats him with due respect. She understands that the representatives of the stronger sex deserve this by default.
Respect in the family is the foundation, without which a strong marriage is impossible.
As we need men's protection and protection, so our husbands do not imagine a married life without respect. Once in the depths of your soul, instead of fears and resentments, genuine respect for the spouse will live, the quality of your life will change for the better.
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About the author

Эльвина Примакова

By education - a psychologist, a teacher of psychology. She is married and has a daughter: she is three years old. Daily I consolidate the theory studied in practice :-) I like to share my experience, I will be glad to your questions and comments.

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