Psychological causes of infertility and miscarriage

If a woman after two years of sexual activity with a regular partner and can not get pregnant, the diagnosis is "infertility." However, only in half of cases it is possible to detect real pathologies of the reproductive system. Much more often than one can imagine, the reasons for unsuccessful attempts to conceive are psychological: the female body, not pregnant, is protected from certain negative factors.

They also lead to the so-called miscarriage, even if it was possible to conceive (often as a result of several IVF), or to a problem pregnancy.

Psychological factors of infertility

  1. Unstable relationships in the family, insecurity in the partner and men in general.
  2. Internal fears of forthcoming parenthood.
  3. Deep childhood psychological trauma and negative attitudes.
  4. Fear of the birth itself.
  5. Benefits of infertility.

Problems with the partner

Researcher ES Ford emphasizes that no barren woman actually wants to have children. All the reasons for becoming a mother, which they voice out loud, reflect only neurotic motives. The root of unreadiness for procreation is in subconscious aggression, even hatred and contempt for men in general, as well as in offenses against their partner in particular.
If such a woman comes to a session with a psychologist, she can voice something like: "How can I give birth to a child to such a deceiver? Let him first prove how he repented, and that he could be trusted at all. "
In addition, the cause of infertility can be a confusion of roles. For example, if a woman is not on an equal footing with a partner (adult-adult), but as a daughter with her daddy, she is unlikely to be able to know the joy of motherhood. Before that, she will have to grow up.

And it also happens that the place of the expected baby is firmly occupied by someone else or something else: career, mother's spouse or even a domestic pet. If there goes all the attention and energy, they simply will not be enough for a future child.

Influence of children's injuries and facilities

  1. If n years ago a woman was born as a result of an unwanted pregnancy, during the reproductive period she not only has problems with conception, but also an inexplicable aggression towards her mother. Once upon a time a girl was born, already with a sense of guilt and uselessness. In the womb she felt like a burden, which no one expects. When she grows up and starts to think about her own children, deep fear will become of becoming a mother, the same who does not love, does not accept. It can be realized to a greater or lesser degree. In any case, the fear of inflicting that enormous pain that she experienced herself can become a psychological cause of infertility.
  2. Sometimes the causes of injuries are not deep and fully realized by a woman. For example, as a child, she could have accidentally seen a film where the whole process of childbirth was shown without embellishment. Tested then horror reliably imprinted in the psyche. Already becoming an adult, a woman will constantly find reinforcements of her fear, focusing on the stories of unsuccessful births that resulted in the death of the mother or child.
And sometimes it happens: the woman has no fear of pregnancy, and the "wrong" installation, which was learned from her mother, interferes. Inaccurate phrases, flying from the language in different situations, can play a much larger role than you might imagine.
Example. You can talk to the daughter of a phrase like: "Yes, God forbid, you will find a normal man only after 30, then you will give birth. And it is unlikely that you will make up your mind. "

In this case, before the designated age of the daughter, the author of the grandchildren's phrases may not wait. And it's good if they appear later, and some other negative attitude will not work.
Especially sensitive ladies can learn the installation and not from close people. For example, take for granted the fortune-teller's words that "her cross is to live without your own children, just educate your adoptive parents." Or remember the words of an incompetent doctor about the risk of infertility.
Example 2. A mother who has made several abortions, can often repeat her daughter: "Do not you dare bring in the hem! "This phrase is fixed in the mind. When a girl begins to have sex before marriage, she repeats herself: "If only you do not get pregnant! "

After n years she marries and plans with her husband a child, but continues to hear an inner voice repeating the same phrase: "If only it were not ..."

Fear of childbirth

Psychoanalysts described many cases in which women were afraid to die during childbirth and therefore began to negatively treat the child, having successfully conceived. These hostile impulses developed so strongly that hormonal processes were suppressed, which provided a normal course of pregnancy. In extreme cases, this led to a miscarriage.

With a saved pregnancy, unconscious hostility toward one's own child often manifests itself in the form of severe toxemia or anorexia nervosa. Panic grows, depressive moods often appear. In time, the undeveloped, suppressed negative state due to fear of being misunderstood creates a greater probability of postpartum depression.

The main causes of fear of giving birth

Most often, women are taught a negative attitude toward pregnancy in the family. Each of us at least once was interested in history, how the parents planned the conception, what memories the mother had about the birth. Unfortunately, not everyone can share a good story in bright colors. Some of us hear the full of suffering stories that:
  • "Pregnancy has taken away all health";
  • "In the process of delivery, everything went not according to plan, and resuscitation was required";
  • "There were a lot of breaks, and a few months it was painful to move around", etc.
All these terrible stories, "caring" mom usually tells in such a frightening voice that they are firmly fixed in memory. And when the woman who has heard all this tries to become pregnant, the worst details come to mind in memory.

Secondary benefits

I understand that it is difficult to accept this idea, therefore I will not develop it in detail. I will advise women who suffer from unsuccessful attempts to conceive, dismiss the rage and think about the benefits of the current situation.

Yes, you really suffer from what you can not conceive. And while you definitely have secondary benefits. Perhaps you get a large portion of pleasant sympathy and attention from loved ones. It is worth weighing what is more important to you.

Finally

The history of conception and pregnancy is affected not only by the characteristics of the reproductive system. Of great importance is the history of a woman: how she was born, what memories of childbirth her mother shared with her, how the attitude towards men was formed.

All of the above psychological causes are not a reason to despair. After working with a psychotherapist or perinatal psychologist, after reassessing life values, many women will have the opportunity to become pregnant and successfully bear the child.
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About the author

Эльвина Примакова

By education - a psychologist, a teacher of psychology. She is married and has a daughter: she is three years old. Daily I consolidate the theory studied in practice :-) I like to share my experience, I will be glad to your questions and comments.

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