Even in well-to-do families there are difficult periods when the family has not yet broken up, but already on the verge of divorce. How to act in this situation correctly? If there is an opportunity, it is advisable to go to a family psychologist who will help you to understand exactly with your situation. Individual approach is better than general advice. But, if your half does not recognize such a therapy, you can try to figure it out yourself, relying on the advice of the same psychologists.
Myths that should be forgottenThere are fairly common stereotypes among us, believed by most women. If you want to keep a family, take a critical attitude towards such statements. In fact, if the family falls apart, two are to blame. It must be realized and accepted. Consider the most common myths:
- Men can not resist a young, attractive woman, because in them it is inherent in nature. In fact, if everything is normal in a relationship, no secretary or other attractive girl can cause a divorce. His hobby can only say that there are some unsatisfied needs that my husband did not voice. For example, he would like to feel like a defender, but the wife is a strong person and does not allow him to show his knightly qualities. Or there can be other reasons. And so a man is looking for a woman who will be different from his "former". It is advisable to talk, discuss these moments, understand what does not suit in the relationship, and change.
- The husband will return if you try. Most women are confident that they can keep a man if they are able to manipulate him: agree with everything he says, watch his appearance, get rid of extra pounds, etc. Indeed, a beautiful woman rarely leaves anyone indifferent. But only on this relationship can not be built. If you smile, when it hurts, and pretend that everything is good, when in reality everything is bad - this is the way to nowhere. Sincerity is very important in a relationship.
- Men are traitors, women are faithful. Another common myth. Indeed, women take a lot of time to do household chores and children. But this does not mean that it can not change. If even a decent girl is surrounded by women who regularly change their second half, the risk is high that she will follow suit. No woman likes the role of housewife, she wants to love and be loved. If she can not get it in the family, there is a possibility that she will lead the affair on the side.
- Walk and return. Often, women believe in such advice from "wise" girlfriends. But, if the relationship has already gone wrong, there have been grudges and anger, with this you need to do something. Relationships need to be worked on. And if a man is already looking for another partner, then it's serious, especially when the children grow up in the family. Nobody wants to ruin an ideal relationship, then both did something wrong.
Features of male thinkingUnfortunately, women do not always understand the male psychology. There are things that they really do not know and do not understand. And then just come to the aid of specialists who help dot the i. That's what psychologists say about the characteristics of male behavior:
- An adult child. More experienced women can not help but notice that men often behave like children, constantly seeking support and approval. The wife has to take on the role of mother, who always praises him. But over time, this behavior causes irritation in women. Do not turn into a good or a strict mother, you are both equal members of the family or a man is the head of the family. Let it remain so. And the mother-child relationship is childhood, the stage that has already been passed.
- Hobbies are bad. Every man has his hobby: fishing, football, billiards, etc. Often he can not refuse to sit around with friends. But wives do not always understand that their second half has the right to engage in what is really interesting to them. You can not criticize your husband because of this. Find your hobby, your hobbies, start to be interested in the same. Does he play computer games? Also try. If you are bored, in your free time, do your hobby.
- Talk more often. The husband and wife are the closest relatives, so you need to constantly communicate with each other. Of course, if your man has something to hide from you, a normal dialogue will not work. So, you are doing something wrong, too often "saw". And he can not guess your thoughts, "feel and understand" - does not always work. Therefore, you need to talk more often about what you are missing.
- Try to find a common language with his mother. Of course, now in the first place your husband should have a family. But before that he lived with his mother. If she really loves him, you can not but show jealousy, feelings of ownership. But what's wrong with being loved not only by you, but by another close person? Especially you will feel her support and help when the children will appear. Try not to conflict, but to become one big loving family.