In most cases this is:
- A girlfriend who always has a "black bar";
- The sister who strives to sting, to the likeness: to tell the truth in person;
- Head with eternal empty pretensions;
- Spouse or relatives - they are vigilantly watching your every move.
Let's try to disassemble the main "toxic" types of people.
The first type: only the truthSuch people believe that they always tell the true truth, thereby saving a person and opening their eyes. Expressing their "own" truth, they bluntly state: I do the best, who if not I will convey all the truth and truth? ".
What is the danger?Such people cause a stable moral tension in anticipation of another "truth." Resolving to yourself a disdainful attitude and bad statements you lower the bar of your self-esteem.
What to doHere the most important thing is to learn to keep the border of communication with such personalities, one should not just patiently listen to their "truth", but defend their relations.
The second type: a sad manSuch toxic relationships occur in 50% of us. The credo of such comrades: "life has cracked," "there is no happiness," "everything is bad." One gets the impression that these people succeed in avoiding luck: the machine will slap, then the pigeon will note, then the black cat will cross the road.
Such people constantly complain of a difficult life and this harsh world. But the worst thing is that they pour all their negative on the interlocutor - they need a listener and a spectator.
What is the danger?Constant communication in the aura of such a person involuntarily fills gray thoughts, there is a shift in emphasis to negativity. In the end, everything that used to be pleased is going to the background, and in the first place will be a constant discussion of suffering and problems.
What to doThe main thing is that you do not need to try to change the inner world of this type of person, first of all, you need hard work on yourself, you need to restrain the framework and protect your personal space. You have to decide for yourself how deep you can immerse yourself in such relationships.
The best option is to just listen, leave your head, and do not dive deep into the topic. Do not lose your taste for life and love for your personality.
The third type: manipulatorsThese are people who are selfish, who use you for certain purposes. Manipulators can play sensitive factors: low self-esteem, intolerance of loneliness, a sense of guilt, etc. From such pressure and pressure, impotence is felt. Without even noticing, you start doing things that you do not like.
Such relationships often develop between married couples, parents and children, best friends.
What is the danger?In such relationships, you become absolutely dependent on what the partner does and wants, and do not almost belong to yourself. But the most dangerous thing is that manipulation, as a rule, is hidden and not obvious, it is difficult to examine and understand them from the first.
What to doIf you do not succeed in stopping and coping with such relations yourself, you need to consult a psychologist. If you are a victim of such manipulative violence, do not be afraid to trust a professional. Otherwise, the situation will simply stall, and the "victim syndrome" will become an eternal companion.
The psychologist will help to lay out everything on the shelves and deal with the situation, to return understanding and determination.
Why can not I break the poisonous ties?What makes us go into a deadlock, even if the essence of the problem is already clear? This is the phobia of loneliness "let's better be such a relationship than nothing at all," "well, okay, I'll suffer, but the person has other good sides."
But the most important thing is that a "poisonous" person probably realizes your fear, he presses harder each time and puts forward a new framework of relations and demands, and the more fear is the more insistent the partner. By the way, he can so behave and unconsciously, according to the principle: you are bent - he pressed even more.
Reactions that occur from communication with the "destroyer"
- sense of deceit;
- feeling that the interlocutor is not telling;
- Do not answer directly to the question asked;
- after the conversation, helplessness and weakness are felt
- next to such a person is always stress and anxiety
- feeling of pressure and energy devastation.
What will happen after the severance of toxic relationships?We need to learn how to build relationships by the type of equal partnership, when both have a common goal, but at the same time there is a personal space for everyone. Then both partners will appreciate the relationship and strive for convenience. Instead of disputes you need to talk and find a compromise, to get out of the resulting situation.
Relationships are work and trusting conversations. And most importantly - share and never be silent about the problems!
Films about poisonous relationships: "50 shades of gray," "Gone," "Twilight," "Labyrinth."
Understanding, happiness, and absolute love!