How to stop screaming at a child

If you are reading this article, then certainly not from among those parents who are looking for excuses and say that "the child is to blame: brought." Most likely, you have already realized that the cry only prevents you from bringing up, and most importantly - gradually rubbing a thin thread of affection between you and your son or daughter.

Little about the reasons

There are five main ones:
  1. Transfer of own childhood experience: my own mother screamed, and her grandmother and so on.
  2. Inability to solve their own problems. Screaming enables a tired parent to break anger on a weaker person due to the lack of adequate ways of unloading. It is convenient to blame the child for his own disorganization. For example, my mother overslept, and the extreme in a situation with delay makes a child who allegedly dressed too slowly, and for this he cries.
  3. The rejection of the emerging child personality, the desire to break it and impose its own, "right" view of life. Usually, he means that the precious child will do what the parents themselves failed.
  4. Constant dissatisfaction with the child due to comparisons with others: he is always inadequate neat, educated, obedient. The trouble is that the accusations are poured on the head of the baby only in the presence of others, when the game is going to a good mother, and nobody looks at home for the same behavior. This causes confusion and misunderstanding of how to behave.
  5. Excessive anxiety: parents are worried that something will happen to the child, that's why they yell at every step. The child constantly hears: "Do not climb - you will hit, do not run - you will fall" and other negative statements.
Of course, none of these reasons should be left with excuses. You just need to understand which of the list are yours, and work with them.

Tips on how to stop screaming

First of all, it is important to understand that the child is your mirror. How can he learn to control emotions, even if you, an adult, could not? Become an example to him! The word "manage" is key. Emotions must necessarily be given a way out, but in an acceptable form that does not break the psyche of the child.

Secondly, read more books on child psychology. Do not say that you do not have time for this. Half an hour a day there is every parent, just usually they are wasted on the pointless flipping of the tape in social networks. When you study the characteristics of a particular age, you will understand that the child does what annoys you, not at all "for evil."

Third, do not push yourself to exhaustion. If you feel that you are tired and about to tear yourself off someone, immediately allocate time for yourself personally. Close yourself in the bathroom, update the manicure, listen to the music. Knocking at the door of the house, answer what you do to their happy mother. And to work out deeper reasons, there is an excellent practice.

Psychological Exercise

Ask your spouse or other loved one to do the most popular exercise with psychology trainings for your parents. The essence is simple. You squat to be a child. Your partner, towering over you, starts screaming at you on fictitious occasions. And you repeat: "I just want to be loved." Usually, in a few minutes, the mothers performing the exercise experience a strong fear, begin to cry and realize what their child actually feels. Only a few minutes of personal experience will replace the hours of reflection on the topic: "How not to scream at children if they behave badly? "

Finally

Arrange the right priorities. Everything, because of what you are shouting today: broken dishes, a soiled dress, slowness of the child or the first two, - will soon have no meaning.
But every time you raise your voice, you contribute to something that you will always have - a child-parent relationship.
What will they be: full of intimacy and warmth or cold and alienated? You decide.
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About the author

Эльвина Примакова

By education - a psychologist, a teacher of psychology. She is married and has a daughter: she is three years old. Daily I consolidate the theory studied in practice :-) I like to share my experience, I will be glad to your questions and comments.

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