Hobbies of the husband and how to be with them

Many men voice their hobbies before marriage, but how many stories are already known when women:
  • believe that for some reason, with a ring on his finger, the loved one will stop every Saturday alone in fishing;
  • they hope that after the appearance of the child, the newly-made father will "take up the mind" and give up parachute jumping;
  • waiting for him to "grow up, wiser" and throw computer games.
The list can be continued for a very long time, but at the heart of each item are the unrealizable dreams of the fair sex.

The main mistake of women

What seems to be faults can be seen in the lover even in the first meetings, but the female inclination to romanticize the image of the chosen one and the blind faith that he will change overshadows the objective impression.

For some reason, it is after the wedding that a woman starts a program for remaking a loved one. Yes, that's the trouble: everyone, even the most carefully planned action, aggravates the situation. If before the husband ran into a couple of fights to relax after work, then now can go to the computer for the whole weekend. If earlier he saw a best friend once a month, now he tries to run to him on fictitious occasions as often as possible.

Naturally, with this spoil relations. A woman who does not feel guilty, blows her lips, cries, puts ultimatums. And finally everything spoils.
The only way not to ruin the relationship is finally to accept your man. Its once made a choice.

Why did you decide that you are better?

Usually the basis of discontent with the hobbies of a loved one is banal pride. You take for yourself the ideal of yourself and your own views of the world. You decided what to be interested in, and what is not, and impose these views. Stop for a second in a senseless struggle and ask yourself:
  1. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe, if you look into your husband's hobby, it turns out that they give more for development than mine?
  2. If I'm right, do not I push him away with my pitching style, do I demonstrate with my whole appearance that I know better how? What kind of emotional state do I call, when I teach and demand?
Simply put, leave your loved one and take care of yourself.
Probably, you do not read Shakespeare in lines, but you scan the tapes in social networks, but the husband does not make any comments to you. By the way, maybe you do not have that "right" - no hobbies, so you are tormented by idleness?

Or worse: you do not know how to organize and joint leisure, and everything you can offer in exchange for his hobby - watching the next series. In this case, it is better to rejoice that the husband is able to occupy himself in adequate ways, and does not analyze why you are bored and what to do about it.

How to take a husband

No theoretical reasoning can immediately inspire a woman who has worked out her rework program for years on a patient subject. Cardinally change the attitude to her husband can only through practice. And this is what actions will help those who are at a dead end:
  1. Make a list of the 20 positive qualities of her husband. Reread every day.
  2. Start a diary, in which you will write 10 thanks before going to bed.
  3. When you learn to switch your attention from negative to positive, start telling him compliments. At first it will be difficult, but you have something to take as a basis - your records.
Try to just do all these tasks for at least two weeks, without criticism and doubt. Even if it seems to you that this will not help. In fact, when you learn to focus on what he does good, the "wrong" hobbies will stop worrying you.

Accepting the hobbies of the husband

When you through practice remember, for what have grown fond of the elect, it is possible to pass and to the theory :-)

Think

If a man with confidence tells you about his hobbies, about what your role in his life is talking about? About the main. But you can easily lose it if you criticize, give estimates ("What kind of nonsense, it would be better to do it") or, horrified, compare it with other men.

Understand

Man is created by nature itself to experiment, to strive for a new, to achieve success in different activities. That's why he has new and new hobbies.

That's why your husband can not just start an aquarium, put in a corner and forget. He will start to study the types of fish, to read books for care of them for days, to understand all types of compressors, and then generally change the aquarium to a larger one and lead new inhabitants. And so in everything.
Let him fully immerse himself in the hobby - and gradually he will take a deep breath and, bored, will fully pay attention to you.
You will press - he will continue to act contrary to the principle, even when he becomes uninteresting. And believe me, watching fish for your comments really soon will not be wanted.

Find the pros for yourself

In any hobby, even the most unusual, you can find benefits for yourself.
  • Does her husband have any "abnormal" hobby? Well, he will treat your quirks with understanding.
  • Does he spend a lot of money on his car? Easier to part with the money when you ask for money for a new dress.
  • Dedicates the hobby as much time as the main job? Perhaps this will be his second profession and he will help out in case of a reduction.
Some advantages from the hobby of her husband can not be seen immediately, but in time you will appreciate them in full. For example, when a grown-up son goes on a weekend with his dad to go fishing and is happy to listen to his stories, and not go drinking with peers at a nearby bar, you will tell your husband sincere: "Thank you."

conclusions

For a man it's normal to have hobbies, worse - when they are not at all. By his wrong actions, you will lead to the fact that at best he will stop sharing with you what is important to him, at worst - achieve his. He will abandon all his hobbies, but at the same time he will be disappointed in you. If you are asking the question: "How to force a husband to abandon his hobby"? - in fact, you want to change your husband. And this is the most terrible mistake that can be tolerated in a relationship. After all, everyone wants to be with someone who accepts him as he is, with all the shortcomings and strange hobbies. Your husband is not an exception.
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About the author

Эльвина Примакова

By education - a psychologist, a teacher of psychology. She is married and has a daughter: she is three years old. Daily I consolidate the theory studied in practice :-) I like to share my experience, I will be glad to your questions and comments.

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