Shyness: How to get rid of it?

The shyness at first glance seems an annoying and easily surmountable nuisance. For some people, it becomes the cause of failures in personal life, slow progress on the career ladder and the abandonment of new opportunities. What is the reason for this state and can it be overcome?

Psychologists have long divided people into extroverts and introverts. If the first do not experience the slightest problems in communicating with others, the second communication skills are not so developed. It is easy to guess that shyness and indecision are more characteristic of the second type of people.


Experts believe that every person can overcome shyness. The key to solving this problem is closely related to the cause of its occurrence. To understand that you are stopped confidently to express your opinion to others or to be initiative, sharing ideas with the leadership, you must certainly find out what events and experiences from the past suppress you.

Children's complexes

In childhood, the manifestation of initiative often ends in failure. The brutal or tactless reaction of adults or peers at this moment can have an overwhelming effect. Self-study of children's experiences is quite realistic. For example, if you have a strong stiffness if necessary to speak publicly before a group of people and you know that the blame for that long unsuccessful performance at a school concert, after which you have become the object of ridicule from classmates, you should not pass the situation. Audience, on which you begin to practice oratory skills, can become your friends. In the future, you can try and speak to strangers.

Activity of others

In a company of self-confident people, it is easy to lose faith in your individuality. The game involves an erroneous installation, the meaning of which is that the surrounding people are better, smarter, prettier and more successful. Throw away such thoughts from yourself - every person has his own baggage of fears and failures. The environment is no different from you (although, perhaps, they had overcome their own timidity a little earlier?). When testing uneasiness, do not be afraid to ask for help. People like to be needed and no matter how ridiculous your own request does not seem to you, most likely the people around will react to it with understanding.

Low self-esteem

Shy people tend to understate their abilities. This interferes with the implementation of plans and even openly express ideas. To change the situation, you need to objectively treat your projects, recognizing their value and usefulness. Does not work? Then share ideas with people loyal to you. Even if you do not get approval, the interest of the interlocutor becomes an additional motivation to continue working in the given direction.

Non Ideal Ideals

The desire to imitate successful acquaintances is often manifested with shyness. There is an idealization of the "idol" and all attempts to adopt his manner of behavior and image. Remember that unnecessarily admiring the man, we unconsciously turn a blind eye to his shortcomings. Go along this path is not necessary already because of the fact that the "copy" will always remain in the shadow of the "original".

Appreciate your own individuality and then you will certainly be able to overcome your shyness!
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About the author


I love chocolate and books in unlimited quantities. I appreciate communication, a positive attitude and self-development. I try to motivate myself for big and small achievements. Did you have any questions? Feel free to ask))

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